Blog entry for:
Sat, Oct 23, 2004 01:44:13 PM
manipulating my way into a manageable life
posted: Sat, Oct 23, 2004 01:44:13 PM
if only i could!
what a world, just a little lie here and a quick use of someone there and my life would be exactly as i desire.
and then i woke-up and got clean!
although i believed i had quite a bit of power when i got here, that little myth got quickly dispelled as i dealt with the damage of my unmanageable life. the biggest lie i told was to myself that somehow, if i could satisfy certain conditions i could not only return to my old life and it would be somehow more than it ever was.
what i got instead was a life far beyond my wildest dreams that is no mopre manageable than before, except today i can accept that i am not in charge and SURRENDER my life to my HIGHER POWER and let it do the work that i so clearly lack the skill set for -- namely managing and caring for my life --..
DT
what a world, just a little lie here and a quick use of someone there and my life would be exactly as i desire.
and then i woke-up and got clean!
although i believed i had quite a bit of power when i got here, that little myth got quickly dispelled as i dealt with the damage of my unmanageable life. the biggest lie i told was to myself that somehow, if i could satisfy certain conditions i could not only return to my old life and it would be somehow more than it ever was.
what i got instead was a life far beyond my wildest dreams that is no mopre manageable than before, except today i can accept that i am not in charge and SURRENDER my life to my HIGHER POWER and let it do the work that i so clearly lack the skill set for -- namely managing and caring for my life --..
DT
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
∞ as long as i could distract myself with my plans, i could put off accepting that i was out of control. ∞ 435 words ➥ Monday, October 23, 2006 by: donnotδ when i was using, i did everything i could to run things my way. Δ 410 words ➥ Tuesday, October 23, 2007 by: donnot
μ scheming is my way of denying my powerlessness. as long as i can distract myself μ 505 words ➥ Thursday, October 23, 2008 by: donnot
⊗ when i admit my powerlessness, i stop trying to control and manage my; ⊗ 233 words ➥ Friday, October 23, 2009 by: donnot
⇑ can i really scheme and manipulate my way to a manageable life ⇓ 601 words ➥ Saturday, October 23, 2010 by: donnot
∫ when i get what i want, i feel powerful and invincible ∫ 502 words ➥ Tuesday, October 23, 2012 by: donnot
♦ by surrendering control, ♦ 180 words ➥ Wednesday, October 23, 2013 by: donnot
℘ i have been known to use ℘ 535 words ➥ Thursday, October 23, 2014 by: donnot
¹ surrender ¹ 675 words ➥ Friday, October 23, 2015 by: donnot
🎱 manipulating my life 🎰 577 words ➥ Sunday, October 23, 2016 by: donnot
🌊 bringing my 🌊 737 words ➥ Monday, October 23, 2017 by: donnot
↻ putting my life ↷ 521 words ➥ Tuesday, October 23, 2018 by: donnot
👋 distracting myself 👋 412 words ➥ Wednesday, October 23, 2019 by: donnot
🚇 trying to 🚔 552 words ➥ Friday, October 23, 2020 by: donnot
💥 running things 💨 416 words ➥ Saturday, October 23, 2021 by: donnot
🌄 gaining far 🌄 420 words ➥ Sunday, October 23, 2022 by: donnot
🐌 expressing 🐌 556 words ➥ Monday, October 23, 2023 by: donnot
😒 accepting that i 😔 561 words ➥ Wednesday, October 23, 2024 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 2
1) Man at his birth is supple and weak; at his death, firm and strong.
(So it is with) all things. Trees and plants, in their early growth,
are soft and brittle; at their death, dry and withered.