Blog entry for:

back in order, by surrendering to recovery based means. yes i know all about how self-will and DESIRE play off of each other and create the perfect storm of unmanageability in my life. although i did not requires any reminders of that, i certainly got one, wanting to shortcut my way to a European vacation next summer. once i finally surrendered to the fact, that i was be taken for a very expensive ride, i did what i could to get the creeps who led me down that garden path, but it was also my fault for ignoring the warning signs and merrily throwing money i did not have a lot of, down into their black hole. where once i would be angry and resentful at them and at myself, today there is an ocean of calm and a resolve to pay off my consequences as quickly as possible.
taking care of myself, is not the same as allowing the principles of the program to work. sure i have dropped some excess poundage, since i got my fitness tracker. yes, cutting back on dining out and takeout has led to a healthier spending regime. these days, i get that i can allow the POWER that fuels my recovery to provide me the means to make my life manageable, and i do not even have to ask for them. all i have to do, is give myself over to the opportunity to see them, the opportunities that POWER provides, and exercise them.
i will be back after a short break, as i think i may have more to write.
the break was much shorter than i first thought it might be. my dentist has left his practice and my hygienist was locked out, because they changed the locks and did not give her the key. talk about some stuff being out of my control, now i have a choice, continue at the practice i have been at, or move with my dentist. i am going to move, because i have found a dentist that i really like and he has established a culture of treating patients like adults, instead of recalcitrant ten year olds. the odd part of this, is that i can accept the change, one of many across the course of the past few weeks, and rise the waves, instead of fighting the undertow. yes, i bought my silly chance to win ticket on the way to the appointment, so perhaps life in the slow lane is not all that heinous this morning.
where am i at, after all is said and done? well i am in a pretty good space and ready to work. i will get my steps in today, i will get my workout in today, i will get the opportunity to hang with some friends and i will work with one of the men that call me their sponsor. all else, is far from relevant, just for today and i can let go and allow the world to turn as it will.

∞ DT ∞