Blog entry for:

**ordinary** people may not have to worry about this question, but i am not an **ordinary** person -- i am an addict. meetings give me the support and direction i need to recover from my addiction, allowing me to live the fullest life possible.
although as i think about this, it appears that i only pay lip service to this principle, and that gives me pause for thought. i do know that when i was first getting clean and after i finally came to recovery, that daily meeting attendance was a necessity for me. ninety in ninety HA, for me it was closer to 150 meetings in my first ninety days. but then some are sicker than others, even after my first ninety days, i was a daily meeting maker, because i discovered that if i wanted any semblance of an **ordinary** life, meetings every day were the only way to go.
the longer i stay in recovery, the fewer meetings i seem to need, and after about two years i started playing the game, to see how many meetings i really NEEDED! i discovered way back then and it still applies now, that the number of meetings i need per week varies with my spiritual condition. when i am spiritually fit two a week is perfect, BUT when i am in a bad neighborhood -- spiritually that is, daily meeting attendance is barely enough.
so how does any of this relate to the topic at hand, namely that meetings are the most effective treatment for my addiction? the only place i hear what i need to hear is at meetings. there i can see the struggling newcomer and think back to that dark period in my recovery when it was all i could do, to stay clean in that twenty-four time slice. i can also hear how addicts with clean-time are staying clean through the slings and arrows of real everyday life, providing me the HOPE i need to stay vigilant on my journey. and only there can i find examples of the recovering addict model, honestly i do not believe that addicts who do not attend meetings are actually recovering -- but that is an opinion, i know that when i do not attend meetings the chances that i am actually recovering is practically nil.
anyhow, my point is, is if i want to continue my journey along this path of recovery, than i need to do what i have always done, and part of that is regular meeting attendance, and no FVCKING EXCUSES! okay, rant off and on to the task of the day. TA-TA FOR NOW.

∞ DT ∞