Blog entry for:

...the love and grace of a HIGHER POWER are those i impose by refusing to step out of the way. so i know that i have written about my process of coming to believe , and probably about my concept of what a HIGHER POWER is all about. while both of those are worthy topics and ones that have changed over the span of days i have clean, what hit me this morning was the word limits and who imposes them. i am not a person who likes to have limits imposed upon me, in fact, i have been told by more than one professional that i have suffer authority complex. that is, i chafe under the collar of any imposed authority and it is in my nature to rebel. here is where my character defects kick in. i have also been told that i am passive-aggressive, so my rebellion may not be in the open. anyhow, all that aside, i find it striking this morning that i zoomed in on the word limits and have been pondering why on earth, i would want to impose any limits on GOD? and worse yet, it is my self-will that does this job nice and neatly. so neatly in fact, that i can shift the blame for events and things in my life that i am unhappy with, off my back and into the hands of my HIGHER POWER. nice work when you can find it!
so when i think about this particular reading and the train of thought it provoked in me this morning, all of a sudden, this revelation was more like a ‘DOH.’ i have known this for quite a bit of time, but my denial system has been good at keeping under the radar. dang it, so where do i go from here? well for one, a rededicating myself to living my eleventh step, and a bit more practice at giving over to the care of a HIGHER POWER my entire will and life, third step stuff. oh, and probably finishing up on my only amends, so i can move on. my life is not that complicated today, unless i choose to make it so. so off tot he showers and into the real world.

∞ DT ∞