Blog entry for:

so a quick juxtaposition of a word or two, and my seed phrase takes on a new meaning. one that i feel is stronger and more to the point or at least what i heard this morning. what i heard was a song, again, this morning that addresses this point very succinctly for me:
Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
after all, how much strife is caused by competing versions of “heaven”?
now that i have taken my swipe at the adherents of organized religion and the image they so carefully have created and yet try to deny, i can move on to what is on my heart today.
it is true, when i came to recovery, i had very little FAITH and certainly was not about to return to my knees and bow to anything that smacked of the religions i saw i as the real and true root of all evil in the world around me. i was intolerant, close-minded and although i would have denied it, fatally desperate. as a result, i ended up going through the motions, and ended up on my knees, begging for the power to stay clean, from a HIGHER POWER concept i borrowed from my sponsor. i entered the “No Matter What Club” and there i stayed, never advancing my recovery or actually growing anything but a huge resentment against those damn religionists, with whom i was forces to cast my lot.
when my head finally popped out of my a$$ and i realized that the reason i was not going anywhere was that i had yet to actually accept to very base facts about who and what i was, things they started changing.
as i grow into a concept of GOD, as become less intolerant and more accepting that for many, religion is where they find their path and have a community. for me, well religion will probably never once again rule my life, as i do not see myself as unworthy or incapable of having a DIRECT and evolving relationship with the POWER that fuels my recovery. as i stay clean, and work a program of recovery, i continue top grow that relationship even as the concept of a HIGHER POWER, becomes more streamlined and less and less defined. as i learn to feel the will of that POWER, i still can express how incredulous i feel when i read that over 300 people were killed yesterday, trying to get into the Grand Mosque in Mecca for prayers. if i chose to, i could use it as more evidence to bolster my arguments against religion, but i have no notion of what their motives were, nor what really happened there. what i do know, is that by finding my own path, bumpy, rocky, twisty and turny as it is, i GET to come to the POWER that fuels my recovery with a deeper appreciation for all IT does for me. that journey is far from over, and i am not even at a rest stop, but i am fairly certain that my reward for staying clean today, working a program of recovery and doing the next right thing, is that i may get the chance to do so again tomorrow. for me, \\right here and right now, that is more than enough. for those i may have offended, perhaps it is time to take a critical look at your own journey in FAITH, as my vision need not be yours.

∞ DT ∞