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not being one of those **GOD** people, certainly makes me different in my local fellowship, and could drive a wedge between myself and my fellow members. it seems i anticipated this reading a few days ago, when i wrote about my journey to find a HIGHER POWER concept that works for me, as praying is certainly part and parcel of that process and its current end result. so other than the very party line about having a HIGHER POWER and allowing that POWER to work in my life, there is not a whole lot more to say, on this topic anyhow.
tangentially however, well there just may be another direction to go. i gave a possible job opportunity a link to my website to look at some of the work i have been doing as a volunteer. i just may end up regretting that, because, if they are anything like me, i would peruse the whole site and <BOOM> there goes any anonymity that i may have had. was that allowing the will of the POWER that fuels my recovery to be expressed, or was that just me, self-willing it? i do not know, and transparently even though i say i do not care, i do, or it would have kept flying under the radar.
had a terrible day at work, yesterday, could not remember even the simplest snippets of code to solve any problem and went to gars with the boyz, frustrated and certainly down about what i got done yesterday. tossed and turned last night, but feel remarkably refreshed this morning, this sort of back asswards bit in my life, is certainly weird and more than just a bit unusual. instead of taking is as some sort of diving “sign,” i will look at it as i really do not know how to do this gig, and what i think is correct seems to be 180 degrees out from what really is good for me. what i interpret that to mean, is like i keep telling my friend Joe, quit thinking about it, let it ago and do what is in your heart and not what is in your head. good advice, so off to the showers i go!

∞ DT ∞