Blog entry for:

the point is that i open my mind to believe. a brief disclaimer, i am not one of those that seeks signs, nor do i often pray for stuff that i want, or think i need. not that i am closed-minded to such actions, it is just that currently neither of those fit into what i have come to regard as part of who i am. since this is a recovery-long process, that may change as the days pile up, but just for today, i am quite comfortable where i am. that being said, where is it that i happen to be? well at work, catching up on my morning stuff and trying my dangdest to recover from the heinous traffic that has become part of my commute, regardless, it seems, as to what time i leave the house. things may be unsettled at work, but i have a job. projects are languishing on my desk, but i will be able to take a few weeks off from side jobs. the puppy is part of our life now, and she is getting used to our routine. so in the big picture of my life, things are just how they are supposed to be, i guess. how does that fit into the whole discussion of the process of coming to believe? well, for me, as i stay clean and see evidence of recovery working in my life, i want to peek behind the curtain at the real great and powerful OZ! there are times when i want to put a face and a definition on to my concept of the POWER that keeps me clean, just like one of the men, who happen to be part of my recovery family tree. i remember how important i once thought that was, HOWEVER as time rolls on, i find it less and less necessary to do so. in fact, i grow more comfortable when i define what that POWER happens to be, less and less. for this rationally logical cynic, less is certainly more, obviating the need for me to look for further evidence and definition.
the process continues to roll on. i am open-minded to further definition, and becoming tolerant of those who evangelize their particular flavor of belief system. today is a great day to think about who i am becoming and by the way get my a$$ back to work! i will see you all later, gators!

∞ DT ∞