ฮ today, my notion of fun has changed. if that is all i have received โฆ
Posted: Tue, Feb 10, 2009 08:36:52 AM
...from this fellowship that gave me a new manner of living, that would be plenty. okay:
<dead horse> -- yes, once again, i am struck by how corny this reading is, and wonder exactly what was up when the addicts who were the authors stumbled into writing this piece. the message is always apt, it is the messenger that gets my goat. once a year i get to rail against this reading and i am sorely tempted to staple a black sheet over the reading in my JFT book, with the words am i having fun yet? </dead horse>
now that i have shot the messenger, it is time for me to work on the message. no not shooting it silly, actually looking at what it means for me, right here and right now. honestly, by the time i came to the rooms, and found recovery (those are by the way two separate events) there was not a lot of fun left in my life. my obsession had progressed to the point where my finding the ways and means to use, took most of my time, and my biggest idea of fun was using, although using was never fun. so looking back on the drear and joyless days and seeing what my life is like today, i am struck with a sense of wonder about how i ever got myself into such a predicament in the first place, and how i ever acquired the grace to get out of that place. such is the nature of my recovery these days. i may not have tons of ‘fun’ activities in my life, but i do have plenty of fun. although i find the examples more than bit corny, i do understand what the intent of the authors was and is, to provide examples of how i can have fun today, without the grand and complicated means that i often looked for as evidence of having fun. in my own way, i find lots of fun in my life today. yes, certainly have the appearance of being someone who is serious, and yes i do not show-up at dances very often, if at all, but my idea of fun does not preclude either one of those states or lack of state.
so anyhow, while this may have been a bit of fun, it is time for me to hit the streets for a bit more of fun, that has a reward that is apparent in my life, at least to me. so am i having fun yet? yes i am, and thanks for asking.
<dead horse> -- yes, once again, i am struck by how corny this reading is, and wonder exactly what was up when the addicts who were the authors stumbled into writing this piece. the message is always apt, it is the messenger that gets my goat. once a year i get to rail against this reading and i am sorely tempted to staple a black sheet over the reading in my JFT book, with the words am i having fun yet? </dead horse>
now that i have shot the messenger, it is time for me to work on the message. no not shooting it silly, actually looking at what it means for me, right here and right now. honestly, by the time i came to the rooms, and found recovery (those are by the way two separate events) there was not a lot of fun left in my life. my obsession had progressed to the point where my finding the ways and means to use, took most of my time, and my biggest idea of fun was using, although using was never fun. so looking back on the drear and joyless days and seeing what my life is like today, i am struck with a sense of wonder about how i ever got myself into such a predicament in the first place, and how i ever acquired the grace to get out of that place. such is the nature of my recovery these days. i may not have tons of ‘fun’ activities in my life, but i do have plenty of fun. although i find the examples more than bit corny, i do understand what the intent of the authors was and is, to provide examples of how i can have fun today, without the grand and complicated means that i often looked for as evidence of having fun. in my own way, i find lots of fun in my life today. yes, certainly have the appearance of being someone who is serious, and yes i do not show-up at dances very often, if at all, but my idea of fun does not preclude either one of those states or lack of state.
so anyhow, while this may have been a bit of fun, it is time for me to hit the streets for a bit more of fun, that has a reward that is apparent in my life, at least to me. so am i having fun yet? yes i am, and thanks for asking.
∞ DT ∞