Blog entry for:

i have something of immense value to share, something only i can give: my own experience. okay, it is a bit on the early side this morning to be sitting here pounding on the keyboard -- well it just feels early to me. something changed physically for me last night and i actually feel rested and full of vim and vigor this morning. so when i opened my daily reading and came to sharing as a competitive sport reading, i was mildly amused. the reason for my amusement? well, i have been using my sharing to dispense advice lately. oh i have been clever enough yo share my experience strength and hope, and wrap it up in stuff about me, but that is beside the point, it has been cross-talk, pure and simple. not that i have been called on it YET, but it is what it is, and i feel better by coming clean about it right now.
so what changed? well for one, as i sat in the meeting last night, listening to the same share i have heard almost every week for the past year, i stopped and actually listened to me heart for a moment, before launching into my Mr fix-it mode. as i sat and waited for the words to share, words that come from the POWER beyond me, i noticed how empty my mind was. not only that, my head was not spinning up a great tale of wore and success, and absolutely nothing was put on my heart. so what i did i do? i sat there and did not share, allowed others to share and enjoyed the silence that was within me, as well as filled the room.
so as i sit here this morning, i seem to be coming to a different sort of realization -- he shares the way he shares because he has nothing else to give and is sincere in giving away what recovery he does have. i NEED to return to sharing from my heart again and not from my head. it has not been all head lately, and i am certain i am making myself out to be some sort recovery monster here. closer to the truth is my cross-sharing has come from my heart as evidenced by the rambling and seeming disconnected manner that it is put together once i get rolling. the impetus may be coming from my head and it is like HP says, okay if you really want to do this, here is WHAT you will say, and boom everything i thought about empties from my head and the next thing i know, words are coming out, that i have dreamed of sharing in an open meeting.
so where to i go from here? well i have a sponsee who needs a new assignment, a sponsee who has requested a favor that i agreed to fill, a massage and tons of work on my desk. so the next right thing? into the shower and out into the real world. the thought i will carry with me is, is what i am about to share coming from my head or from my heart? the answer to that question will determine if i need to say it out loud or not. life is after all, too precious today for me to wasted any time. TTFN :)

∞ DT ∞