Blog entry for:

nor funny to ring true, even though the chronicle of my life has elements that have both of those attributes. there are days when i lack the self-esteem to be honest about my life, and do my best to have the absolutely perfect share. when i find myself whole, i can be genuine and self-assured and then i do not care about what happens to fall out of my mouth when i share. the dichotomy here is based in how i view myself in that slice of time, but i did not always have the ability to slice and dice my behaviors and attribute them to what was going on inside.
yesterday, as i spent the day with my sponsor, i saw that when it comes to our fellowship, there are a few things we vehemently disagree about. i need not rehash those differences here, but i can certainly say that i see his point of view and respect it. i can also say that i will not be changing mine, to match his, as i feel he is “wrong.” that is what he has taught in the minute we have been in this sponsor-sponsee relationship, specifically to think for myself and allow accept that my opinions and conclusions may not always align with his. in this day and age of chaotic disagreements and cancelling someone out of one's life, because they do not share the same views, that is refreshing to me. i know that on many levels, he and i are on the same page, especially when it comes to living a program of recovery. even though i may not march lock-step in all of his opinions, i am certain that when he provide direction, it is certainly a direction i want to follow. he has brought me this far and my FAITH in the program and the POWER that fuels my recovery, is strong enough to not worry about the dross that fills my head and his.
on that note, it is time for me to get dressed and head out to my home group, the one meeting i attend with extreme regularity. i know that i live a different program than many of my peers and that my meeting attendance could use an upgrade. i also know that sharing at meetings and going to multiple meetings a week, is not the foundation of my recovery. my recovery is built on the TWELVE STEPS and how well i live them on a daily basis. HMMMM, maybe that is what i need to share today? 😝

∞ DT ∞