Blog entry for:

...every day, as **quiet time,** i can be sure that my conscious contact with my concept of a HIGHER POWER will improve. okay this is one of those readings that i have already implemented -- so yes a preaching to the choir, i am already here and i am so great BLAH,BLAH, BLAH. ;)
seriously though, even if i do everything that is suggested in every piece of literature, every single day, i am hardly any better, than any of my fellow members, and i am not going to be any closer to being cured, although i may not be as sick as others.
so the problem as i see it, is how do i write about something that i already do, when the suggestion is to do it. there are a t least two tracks i can go down, the first being a retrospective about how i arrived at the place where i started doing my quiet time on a daily basis. honestly i will tell you, that my twenty minutes a day is not all in one shot. ii accomplish this artificial constraint by breaking it in two. two sets of prayer and meditation, of about 10 minutes or so, that frame my day. each has it purpose and each is a synthesis of my step work to date. my morning application is steps 1, 2 and 3 as well as 11. the evening application is a combination of steps 10 and 11. so even though this is a simple program, i work it in a complex manner or do i? what i see that as, is a manner of living a program that provides for me the vest vehicle for my journey along the road of recovery. i am amazed that a person like me, who was doubtful about any of this supernatural or mystical stuff, can be such a strict adherent to the principle of continually building a bridge to the divine. i am certainly no ‘holy roller,’ but there are times when i hear what is coming out of my mouth that it sounds like i am a converted… well something. i do swear by my quiet time, even though in the beginning, it was merely an exercise in compliance with the wishes of my sponsor. i also did it to look good by sharing about it in meetings, and i could do so without being a liar. for me, this was one of those fake it until i make it activities, and going through the motions, created a response within me, that made me desire to continue to do so, except as time went on, it was for me and i shared less and less about the benefits of conscious contact.
so anyhow, the benefits for me, far outweigh the costs. in fact, i am likely to be late to an appointment than to skip my quiet time, although very rarely do i have to make such a choice. although i would certainly love to go on and on about this, i do believe i have come to the end of this semi-random brain dump. it is a good day to recover and it is even a better day to live my life fully, work or not. so off to the next activity and into the breech as it were. it is good to be alive this morning.

∞ DT ∞