Blog entry for:

of conscious contact, is beyond my ability to quantify these days anyhow. where once upon a time it was a chore to build any sort of **contact** with the POWER that fuels my recovery, today it is something i cherish. in fact, based on the reading this morning, i have decided to **up my game** a bit and extend my quiet time. going on and on about the value of meditation is a choice i could make this morning, but to what ends? id one already meditates, then they know the benefits for them and in their lives. if one does not, then my preachy little blog about how much value i find in a daily program of meditation, will not come off as loving, kind or even helpful. for me, the benefits of “sitting” twice a day, far outweigh the costs of doing so, PERIOD.
what struck me, as i rose from sitting was not this whole conscious contact gig, which do not get me wrong is important, but what can i do to carry a message of HOPE to the still suffering addict. skip right through ELEVEN and on to TWELVE. i have pulled away from the local fellowship and more than a few of of my peers, who are part of that fellowship. most of the problem, of course, lies with me, as i see behavior that i judge to be rude, discourteous, arrogant and selfish as something that is odious and i choose to avoid as much of the odious things in my life as i can manage. it is what it is, and the choices i make, do affect my social standing in the fellowship as well. for reasons that escape me, working on becoming THE PARAGON OF VIRTUE in my local fellowship, is a task i am not willing to take on. learning to be okay with who i am, and no longer settling for second best is what i am feeling today, rather than pulling strings and manipulating people to get the outcome i desire. strange and unusual for someone like me.
with that in mind, i think i will let go of putting down any more characters on this page and wrap it up with “thoughts and prayers” for those who have compromised their values to support a dishonest, misogynistic and racist reality TV politician.

∞ DT ∞