Blog entry for:

is helpful in making conscious contact with my concept of a HIGHER POWER, such as IT ism right here and right now. this is one of those topics where i can chime in and agree wholeheartedly. i could also start this blog off when one of the lines that drive me fVcking nuts when i hear it at meetings, but i do not think i will travel that road either. what i can say is; my quiet time has become an important part of my routine and has helped to bring some stability to this complex and often tectonically unstable personality. everything that the reading espouses today, rings true for me and to go on and on about how true this or that is for me, is a waste of this precious resource -- no not the internet or this blog space, rather my time.
so with that readily dismissed what i think i will talk about is the past 36 hours. as you may have noticed there was not a new entry in this space yesterday. it was my intention to allow enough time to write before heading down south to meet with a sponsee, however that intention,. as good and noble as it may have been did not get met. i worked until the last possible moment. my next thought was that i would write when i made it back home, but after ninety minutes in summertime, stop and go traffic, i was not in the place to even sit down in front of my computer much less actually quiet myself, contemplate the nature of life the universe and everything and compose some characters on a CRT screen that came close to what i was feeling. so it was once again deferred until a better space-time, which happens to be right here and right now. i said the past 36 hours and i have only explained the past 24, 12 hours before that i sat down with my sponsor and we actually moved into my step work. when i last sat down with him, we merely flirted with the idea of where this current set of steps was going to take us. those clues have been amply provided and for the first time in probably weeks, i slept like a dead man. it felt as if the weight of the world that i had volunteered to carry had been lifted and all i needed to do was repair the damage i have done, by allowing the process of the 12 steps to work their magic healing POWERS upon me. so no blog, a new direction and eye-opening session with a sponsee and the joy of driving on a hot friday afternoon of a holiday weekend created quite the normally abnormal set of events of my life. sitting here, recovering from that set of events i am beginning to see, that no matter how predictable and stable i want or think i NEED to be, i am a human being, and that is not the sort of gift most of us who are part of the human race really get. oh i try and pretend i have a normal stable and predictable life. i spin events into a place where i can think they were predictable, but hindsight is like that, i can always predict what my life looked like one minute ago. what i need and want to do today, is take the gifts that i received in my quiet time, and move forward into this day. what did i get? well i got a feeling of certainty that everything was going to be okay today. i got a feeling a peace and serenity that was lacking before i sat down. and i got a feeling that i am better than adequate for facing what will arise today, all i have to do is ask and i shall receive. i know it does not seem like a whole lot, but it is what it is and the time has come to suit up, show up and hit the streets running, literally as well as figuratively. so until next time, rest assured that i am working to be the best Don that i can be today.

∞ DT ∞