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... or actually actively pursuing it?
and i wonder where between those two extremes i fit. i do have a regimen of prayer and meditation that i have participated in for years now. in fact i do not even think about when and where i do it. it has become so ingrained that it has moved beyond habit into one of those things that just are. and while that may be a good thing, i wonder if doing it on auto-pilot is any better than just paying lip service to doing it all?
and that is the crux of my dilemma here. the reading more than suggests that,"this will be the beginning of a new pattern for my recovery."
and although i know it is talking about starting a routine, perhaps it is also speaking to looking at the routines i have in place and examining whether they can stand to be updated in light of my new circumstances -- my current spiritual condition, the length of my clean time, and what has changed within since the last time i actually turned a critical eye to how i maintained my conscious contact. i mean the last time i asked the question of why i do it a certain way, changed everything and that was over six years ago -- all i have done since then is to weld on a new piece to my current practices. and i should take a bit of comfort in the fact that i do have a regimen in place, that i can examine and alter if i need to. i know i do not spend twenty to thirty minutes a day, so i could work on lengthening the time i spend in quiet meditation. but once again all that is subjective. what i think i will do is ponder the reading, try a few new things and let my routine morph or not morph into what ever it needs to be.

∞ DT ∞