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there was a time when i could tell you and truly believed that i feared nothing and could accept whatever life happened to dish out on a daily basis -- I WAS FEARLESS --
there was also a time when i could tell that i feared everything and getting up and going about my daily business was more than i wanted to handle on a daily basis -- I WAS TOTALLY FEARFUL --
both of those conditions above are now an indication that something is lacking in my spiritual fitness program, and in actuality i vacillate between theses extremes and end-up somewhere in the middle, both FEARLESS and FEARFUL at the same time.
as this morning's reading suggests, and what i have found out through the path i have walked is that the only remedy i have for being afraid to live is reliance on a POWER GREATER THAN ME. through this reliance i gather evidence that i can survive the trivial and not so trivial events of my daily life. as this body of evidence has grown, i have grown into a state of FAITH that GOD will not give me any more than i can handle on a daily basis.
the most interesting part of this whole FAITH gig is, that even when i am resentful or angry towards GOD i still somehow feel the FAITH i need to continue.
recently it has come to my attention that being an addict is very inconvenient, whether i am using or working on my recovery. both states require an expenditure of time and resources to maintain. both states are beyond the comprehension of those who do not suffer from the disease of addiction. however, if i choose the path of recovery today, the burden of addiction can be lessened by those with whom i share my recovery with and by a growing reliance on GOD.
which brings me back to the the topic, if i want freedom from the FEAR of LIVING, than all i have to do is find it within me to surrender my will and my life to GOD and have the FAITH that, that care will provide me all i need today.
SIMPLE? -- YES!
EASY? -- NOT HARDLY!
ACCOMPLISHABLE? -- YES JUST FOR TODAY!
∞ DT ∞