Blog entry for:

to tell you the honest truth, i feel a bit off kilter this morning. all of a sudden, what was a very easy task, has presented new challenges on a daily basis. the fact that i am not getting paid for any work as the place falls apart and the people who are left go nus, is not much of a consolation. in fact, it adds to my frustration, as the insanity seems to feed upon itself in their lives and spill into mine. my “eye in the storm” kind of life, seems to be having some seepage from the chaos swirling around me. the worst part is that those who are the deepest in the chaos, seem to think that i am at their beck and call, and need to come running at their slightest whim, and yet lack the ambition to actually critically evaluate the materials i have provided to assist them out of their chaos. there is certainly a lack of FAITH on my part, and i guess my FEAR is that i will be dragged down into their morass, unless i angrily and brusquely shove them off. it is of course, way beyond my power to snap their insanity and delusional thinking, and it is me who is giving them the power to make my life unmanageable. so it is me, that i end up seeing who is bringing myself down, not them, and that makes it sting even more.
there is the problem, now for a dive into the solution.
since i have lost my ability to tolerate certain behaviors, i have to rely on the notion that if allow it, i can get the strength to deal with the inmates in this asylum from the POWER that fuels my recovery. nothing has changed over the past few days, except how i have been reacting to this mess. it was swirling down the toilet a week ago, and it is still swirling in that same direction. what i have to decide, is how much more i can engage in supporting the insanity that is ongoing. i have a feeling that this is just a phase for them, so it is me that has to make the accommodations, not them. where there is FEAR, that i too, will be trapped in the tempest of their insanity i need to find the FAITH that i can detach and return to the calm in the center. where there is anger at being summoned, i can find the FAITH that i can respond with kindness and the desire to serve. most importantly when my offerings are spurned because they choose not to look at them, i can have the FAITH that perhaps it needs to be in another form.
yes, now that i have written i can return to the center and be okay going about my bidness. it is time to get rolling, because, of course i have a task to do on my way to work. i can move with FAITH today, that if i allow it, i will receive the abundance i need from the POWER that fuels my recovery, to be what i need to be today.

∞ DT ∞