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i have often found myself evaluating the content of another member’s share based on their behavior outside the rooms or how much clean time they have, even though i know that every member has something to say that i NEED to hear. today’s reading was a good reminder of the principles that i espouse at the drop of a hat, and when i find myself concentrating on who is speaking rather than the content of what they are sharing, it is, for me, one of those red flags that something may be missing in my own program. i do not find myself resentful that much anymore, i do find that i can still be very judgmental however. the character defect of being judgmental protected me from both myself and others when i was out there obliterating my consciousness, and has yet to be tempered into a tool of my recovery. most of the time when i discover i am judging another member and disregarding what they are sharing, i am protecting some part of my self that i am not really ready to be relieved of.
no one ever said i would get ’cured’ nor did they promise that somehow i would gain saintly patience and tolerance, on the contrary, they promised that if i chose to work the program as laid out by our predecessors that my life would change. well sometimes i am not willing to let my life change, and on those days i am grateful i have the loving concern of my friends with whom i share this path, they can provide me the insight that i need to get to the bottom of whatever is blocking me from hearing GOD’s voice through the members who choose to share.
∞ DT ∞