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if i was perfect, i would not be human.
so, i did more than a few things between picking my seed and sitting down to write this out. although when i first started this, i knew where i was going to go, now, i am not so certain. i do know that being in a SIXTH STEP, certainly hammers home the point of exactly how human i really am. i also have come to realize, how human all of those who are in my life and happen to pass me by, on a daily basis, are as well. between those two realizations there is perhaps a bit of HOPE for this addict. the HOPE? that this particular conceited, judgmental, self-righteous, and arrogant man, can finally come down from the heights he has placed himself on, and rejoin the human race. it sucks watching life from afar, especially when the notions of perfection and humanness are warring within me. working over my assignment, i am finally starting to get that who i think i am, and where i think i am going, needs to be surrendered into the care of the POWER that fuels my recovery. that conscience is the one i need to seek, not some distorted view of the world that comes from within my amazing, magnifying and denying intellect. what i once thought was my greatest asset, is turning out to be what separates me from my fellow recovering addicts and the rest of the human race. and that is more than a bit disturbing to me today. good thing i have a face to face with the sponse on tap this afternoon.
anyhow, i really do not know how much more i can write, so i think i will jme the big bucks to do.

∞ DT ∞