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seems to be the direction i am going these days. i have a challenging job, i have finally accepted that i needed to pay off the personal loans that were given to me, when i was wrapped up in the time share scam. i am learning what it means to be myself and live in my own skin, without, for the first time ever, trying to be perform up to what i think are the expectations of others in my life. i am doing my best to rejoin the fellowship that has brought me this far. what looks like a well-trodden landscape is terra incognita to me.
last night, was a dip back into the fellowship pool, with a great number of my peers, and i have never seen so many disrespectful a$$holes, in a place where spiritual principles are supposed to be practiced. i can say that recovery and politics do not mix very well in this day and age. despite the fact that even though wearing a mask is required, by the local government and because of the our “at-risk” peers, there were many there who for reason or another would not wear a mask, no matter how many others were. that was not unexpected but it certainly was disappointing. i know of at least one of my peers, who will not be returning today, because of that very fact.
today, i will be returning and when i am there, i will forget about the over-entitled and selfish and connect with those i have not seen in years. i also know that until i am asked, i can be okay living a life that includes being a part of the world, even if it means wearing a mask or social distancing. this morning however, it is time to head on over to Boulder for my home group and let them know that just for today, i am willing to walk a path that is far from certain, in the FAITH that the POWER that fuels my recovery will give me what i need.

∞ DT ∞