โ lightening the load โ
Posted: Tue, Mar 11, 2014 07:00:00 AM
just another day, this morning we have volunteered to listen to the pitch again, so we know what we are in for. after all the fun in the sun the past few days, some hours inside being worked over by a sales professional is not a bad price to pay for a breakfast. sitting out on the terrace, it is a bit chilly this morning, i would guess in the mid 50's, and yet that is nothing to complain about either. but enough of the travelogue, time to really get down and talk about resentments.
the metaphor of carrying a rock for each resentment and the size and weight of each rock is based on the nature of each resentment is certainly an apt one for me. i do feel the burden of resentments on my spiritual self, when i am actively looking for what is blocking me form my own true will for myself, and resentments are certainly part of that mix. even justified resentments, are a burden that blocks me for the spiritual light, and the faster i remove them from my life the better off i am. there certainly is enough stuff that is contrary to the outcome i envisioned, in my daily life, to walk around with my back bowed form the weight of all the pebbles i could be carrying. there are enough self-centered and self-entitled people in my life that, they too could become just another excuse to break my back carrying a load of their crap as well. when it comes down to it, m i really strong enough to carry all that crap, really insane enough to believe that by carrying that load, i am somehow indicated and better off? when i put it that way, of course not. i walked into the rooms a resentful victim and i no longer have any desire to remain one. truthfully, resentments are only my way of keeping myself down. the part of me i call addiction, enjoys seeing me suffer, as each time i suffer, or form a resentment, or even worse, hold on to one, i am that much closer to my next use.
will today go as planned? i have no idea, i know that the net right thing for me to do, is to finish my coffee, grab a shower and get ready for our sales “presentation” and slide into yet another lazy, and not s crazy day of fun in the sun, perhaps, moderating the sun part a bit , as i am a bit more red than i want to be. dang sun, does it not know who i am? stop burning the hide off of me!
the metaphor of carrying a rock for each resentment and the size and weight of each rock is based on the nature of each resentment is certainly an apt one for me. i do feel the burden of resentments on my spiritual self, when i am actively looking for what is blocking me form my own true will for myself, and resentments are certainly part of that mix. even justified resentments, are a burden that blocks me for the spiritual light, and the faster i remove them from my life the better off i am. there certainly is enough stuff that is contrary to the outcome i envisioned, in my daily life, to walk around with my back bowed form the weight of all the pebbles i could be carrying. there are enough self-centered and self-entitled people in my life that, they too could become just another excuse to break my back carrying a load of their crap as well. when it comes down to it, m i really strong enough to carry all that crap, really insane enough to believe that by carrying that load, i am somehow indicated and better off? when i put it that way, of course not. i walked into the rooms a resentful victim and i no longer have any desire to remain one. truthfully, resentments are only my way of keeping myself down. the part of me i call addiction, enjoys seeing me suffer, as each time i suffer, or form a resentment, or even worse, hold on to one, i am that much closer to my next use.
will today go as planned? i have no idea, i know that the net right thing for me to do, is to finish my coffee, grab a shower and get ready for our sales “presentation” and slide into yet another lazy, and not s crazy day of fun in the sun, perhaps, moderating the sun part a bit , as i am a bit more red than i want to be. dang sun, does it not know who i am? stop burning the hide off of me!