Blog entry for:

the faults of another, may make me feel a little better about myself, but does nothing to help reduce the load of ill-will i may be carrying. as i weigh the burden i am carrying today, i find very little needs to be **dropped** by the wayside, as these days, for whatever reason, i am certainly less likely to hold on to a grudge or nurse a resentment. this Kum-By-Yah moment brought to you by one more JFT.
moving on, what has me the most concerned is this whole notion of a pandemic and how it affects me! yes the self-centered part of me has kicked in and empathy and sympathy is flying out the window. i got the notice last night from my employer that until further notice, i am to work from the comfort of my own home. of course, the first thing i want to do, is to drive into the office and rebel. although working from home is a perk that i have come to enjoy, being mandated to “self-quarantine” from the office, gets my juices flowing. having a choice and being mandated to, seems to affect how i look at something. i seriously thought i was better than that these days and it goes to my other concerns, my travel plans.
in eight short days, i am off to Ireland for a trip of a lifetime, followed quickly by a trip to the Big Apple. so far, all of those plans are still on the table. my concern is that if i do not CHOOSE to make the trip to Ireland, the economic fallout of the pandemic will put this trip out of reach for a very long time. i have this overarching concern to just do it, DAMMIT! as hopeful and serene as i have been lately, this whole COVID-19 fallout has my tighty-whiteys twisted into a Gordian Knot. each day the forecast looks worse and having to work from home, feeds into the frenzy i am doing my best to release.
where that leaves me, is in a bit of a tizzy. my solution seems to be to lash out sideways at those things i think i have control of, rather than taking a minute and letting go. the REAL solution, and i know this, is to take an inventory of those events and things i have the power to change and leave the rest in the quite capable care of the POWER that fuels my recovery. as much as i resist that notion, i am coming to the place where that has to be where i go to, otherwise i will be totally insane watching the news of the world with trepidation for the next eight days. right here and right now, i am going to apply myself to letting go and allowing the world to spin as it will. in ten minutes i can spin about it again.

∞ DT ∞