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i have often wondered if i could commit perjury, after all swearing on a Bible means absolutely nothing to me, and that part in my opinion, is just some superstitious ritual meant to cow the the gullible masses into thinking that somehow GOD is part of the proceedings. with no FEAR about being struck down from the Christian concept of GOD, the only thing that would hold me to telling the truth, would be the spiritual principles of the program that has given me this new way of life. perjury then becomes a betrayal of myself, and the punishment that i inflict, is more than likely than the meting out of justice in the “after life.” which brings me to the topic at hand, “THE TRUTH!”
over the course of the years, i have written about my ever shifting understanding of the truth, with or with emphasis, and have come to the conclusion, just as the literature states, that it is my understanding of that concept and not the concept itself that changes. the one basic part of THE TRUTH, at least for me, is that i am an addict.that needs no qualification or obfuscation, it just is, much like THE TRUTH, itself. there is, at least for me, power in that statement. when i accept that i am an addict, and need not hide it under a bunch of words, i can move forward with my life, because from there it follows that as an addict, i will always color my interpretation of THE TRUTH through my addiction, no matter how long i have been clean.
let that notion sink in for a minute as i move along, for me, addiction is manifest by a whole litany of “self” hyphenated terms, save ones like self-acceptance and self-worth. the truth is, that i see myself as less valuable, less reliable and certainly more flawed than the other 85% or so of the human race, due to being and addict. through the filter of addiction, even telling a simple lie, to better myself in what i perceive is in your eyes, can be used as the start of the chain of evidence leading to the conclusion, that recovery is not working out, after all it has been thousands of days, and i still self-deprecate at the drop of a hat, to get you to see me as better as i am. the truth bis far more complex and certainly more nuanced as all of that, and i can certainly see that i am not what i once was, and am quite certain i am on the path to some sort of redemption and salvation, with or without a strong FAITH in spirituality based in organized religion.
anyhow, time to run and see what is waiting for me, at the end of this rainbow today. the pot o' gold i hope to find, is certainly another day clean, and a b\\tad more understanding of THE TRUTH as i see it today.

∞ DT ∞