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leave my home without using first, was this a sign of FEAR or was it just a fact? an interesting question and one i will address in a minute. this may be my final note on the elections results. i did not get what i voted for. i was upset, worried and ready to be a big whining baby and run away. then i read an article about what others in the world have to live through, under regimes they had little or no say in getting installed. many of those are “friendly” to our government and their human rights abuses are swept under the table or dismissed by sleight of hand and Jedi mind tricks. the fact is, i DID my part in participating in the fair and NOT rigged election. since i find the results, a bit distasteful, i have resolved to be the change and not sit around and whine about it on FaceBook, Twitter or in the rooms with my friends and peers. the fact is this country has a new president, that is a total outsider and how he will set-up shop is still a mystery. my task is now to do what i can to PREVENT those ideological storm-troopers from rolling back the progress this country has made over the past fifty years. no matter how rich or famous someone is, marching us back to 1966 is not the answer and sitting in my comfortable life and allowing that march back to 1966 or 1936, is not something i can do. i can history and i know what may happen when a demagogue gets elected by less than half the voters in an election, and i will do what i can to prevent that outcome, even though i do not believe it will be quite that dire. i really do walk in the FAITH that the corporate masters of Congress and the Republican party will force them to collar their new dog and train him to march in lock step with their agenda. it just will be more visible and we will hear the shrill screams for those who put him into office, when after six months of doing very little it becomes business as usual, after all, civil rights and equality means more money, spent by more people and more debt. more debt means more money for those that are “too big to fail,” and the media circus puppet that James Comey has become will keep trying to distract us by inventing terrorist plots and sinister corruption scandals, after all that is what his corporate masters require.
ok, a bit dark and certainly cynical, now back to our regularly scheduled topic, FEAR vs FAITH!
yes, i was one of those who needed to “wake and bake,” every single day. i lived in a state of somewhere between stoned and just pleasantly buzzed for decades. i told myself that was because i saw too much stuff, felt too deeply or just needed to take the edge off the cold, harsh and cruel world i lived in. i wonder today, if i used because i was afraid of what life would be, in a non-altered state. having been clean for 7000 (seven thousand) days in a row, i now know and yes, some days it sucks dealing with the injustices and inequities i see around me, as i walk through this life. the fact is i am not oppressed, and even though addicts as a class are seen as a lower life form, the outward signs of me being an addict, are no longer visible to society in general. what that gives me is status in the white male, middle class, which has never been an oppressed class. whether it was FEAR that kept me stoned, back in the day, does not matter. i can say without any reservations it is FAITH that keeps me clean today.
i have developed the FAITH, that if i stay clean, allow the POWER that fuels my recovery to work in my life and stay present for the opportunities as they present themselves, i will be a better person when i go to bed tonight and a i have a pretty good chance of doing it all over again tomorrow. yes, even though very few of my friends and peers saw me at meetings the last week, i still stayed clean. my commitment to inspire HOPE in my peers is unabated, as i cannot keep anything i choose not to give away.
yes i can wail and gnash my teeth with the best of them. do i FEAR being marched into a “re-education camp” because i follow a spiritual path that is different from my peers and most of my countrymen? not today. i have FAITH that if i keep my eyes open, resist being lulled to sleep by my corporate masters and stay true to my spiritual self, i will be rewarded another day clean. that, at least for this addict, is more than enough to let go of what happened two nights ago, and look vigilantly to the future, remembering the lessons history provides about what happens when hate and intolerance is given a face.

∞ DT ∞