Blog entry for:

whole and wholly free, thanks to the members who were here in i walked in the doors and especially those that encouraged me to step out of mere abstinence and fronting recovery, into a new manner of living. it has not been a easy path and that transition was an event that i never believed would occur. i was, after all, just biding my time, until i killed my number. that little piece of ancient history has shaped my life and fostered a change in the way i looked at the world and what exactly i was “owed.” i was walk through day, running into all sorts of folks who seem to think thet0y are entitled to whatever, it reminds me of the exact same mind set. it is not only familiar, but quite comfortable, after all if the world “owes” me, i need not take responsibility for my life.
i am of the opinion these days, that i make my own “luck” by being present for what is happening in my life in real time. not everything i think is “bad” is and not all that i believe to be “good≵ for me, is either. today, as i walk through my day, i will remember that i am, fortunate to have a choice about how i behave and what i do. i am considering taking my work computer to the cigar store this afternoon, but i do believe i will allow myself the freedom to walk away from that until tomorrow, as i continue to flesh out the clues i uncovered while i was running this morning. goodwill and integrity are great watchwords for the rest of this day, as i have already pissed off my wife. better for me to run away and allow her to have the space i think that i need.

∞ DT ∞