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than i have been feeling. some days it just does not pay to offer a means to simplify a process. case in point two days ago i suggested an informal meeting with a client so we could work through the issues they are having with the data center move. instead of making a decision for herself, she brought her boss into the picture and what could have been a 5 minute meeting about what is missing, now is a thirty minute production number, a dog and pony show as it were, showing how wonderful she is and what a piece of shite i am. i am seriously considering cancelling out of the meeting due to shifting “work flow” and throw her under the bus. i am certainly redrawing a boundary as to who can con=tact me and why. what was meant to make things more efficient for the both of us, is about to increase her workload ten-fold and my response time from a few hours out to five business days. i guess every “good deed” has its consequences.
other than work, i have been starting to find some emotional balance. the whole topsy-turvy world that has been my internal landscape over the past few months is finally starting to come into focus and the changes that are manifest in my life are for the better, even though they are hard to see in that light. having to empty out the shelves in my office to put in new flooring is a good task for the weekend. looking for new homes for the many “treasures” i have accumulated over the past ten years is a good thing as well, even if that new home is the landfill. moving my “newly” acquired website to the cloud and making it something active again, is another good task for me, as i revamp and reinvigorate my skill-set to hammer home a new job, that might return the passion to what i do. allowing myself to be feted or not in eleven or so days, is also a good thing for me to do, as i want to learn top step out of the shadow of my clean time.
what will my actions be today? number one, go to the stupid meeting, be polite and allow her to have her glory in the moment. number two, work on the task at hand to develop and run the performance tests i have been doing for the past month for the next client in the stack. as i have a few extra days on this one, i might even figure out how to get some decent reports out of the “big” run. more importantly, allow myself to behave in a manner that reflects the person i am striving to become, instead of reacting to each slight and criticism as a sign of disrespect. and when she says that the hated meeting was my idea, i will politely and respectfully correct that assertion, with an adamant denial, tossing her swiftly and mercilessly under the bus with her pointy haired boss. if they want a single source of truth, it is back to the tried and true method that those in that world love so well, write another ticket and i will get to it as time allows.
BTW: it is the very last time i will offer anything to her as a means to facilitate collaboration, having learned that in this case no good deed goes unpunished, now it is time to spread the wealth.

∞ DT ∞