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well this weekend was as chaotic as the last, these days it seems i have so much to do and so little time to hang with the ones love, so little time to do absolutely nothing and so much of other people‘s crap to deal with and let go. honestly, i am ready to run away to some far off tropical paradise and live on the beach and do nothing all day long -- no cell phones, no e-mail, and no computers. i also know that although that is an alternative, it is not what i really want and i do not believe that is GOD‘s will for me today. so what am i to do? my disease is screaming to run out and buy a new laptop or act-out in other ways that i would regret, so i know that something inside of me is in need of changing. understanding that focusing on my defects of character only makes things worse is a real good start. the next part is letting the job of having my character defects removed , done by the only force that can do it -- namely THE POWER THAT KEEPS ME CLEAN AND PROVIDES FOR ALL MY NEEDS!
truthfully, the chaos has probably always been spinning around me and because i was so caught up in my own internal chaos i ignored or dismissed it. it is probably a sign of my growth that i can see and feel all that external crap today and what i need to do is finish the process of letting go and move along -- after all there really nothing to see here!
∞ DT ∞