Blog entry for:

and group conscience, i guess is a thing. most of the time when i say i am exercising discernment, i am actually judging the living hell out of someone or something and attempting to minimize my behavior. it is great to hear that maybe, just maybe, discernment is the flip side of judgement and is not necessarily an “evil” trait, as long as i err on the side of caution and catch myself before i drop into stereotypes and tropes. i have to say, i did not do a good job of that with the little thief who walked off with my stuff, because it was in a “weird place” and believed that it was “left behind.” their minimization of their behavior tripped off all sorts of emotional crap for me, and hopefully they at least returned it to the “scene of the crime.”
moving into the here and now, i have decided that i am only allowed to raise the middle finger salute, once per day. i almost wished that i could store the ones i do not use, for future access, but just as NFL football does not allow a team to carry timeouts across half-time, i have created a policy that if i do not use it, i lose it. so far, it is working for me, as i have to think IF whatever happened rises to the occasion of using my one free pass. as a matter of fact, i have two in deep storage, so i must be getting better. 🤣
as i sat this morning, what kept coming up was the notion that carrying ill-will towards the person that created the situation on Saturday, is no longer serving me. as i move into genuine forgiveness i have started to ask the POWER that fuels my recovery, to provide them all they may need to get some integrity and recovery. it helps me move on and maybe, just maybe, it might help them as well. as i go there, i feel that i have a bit more integrity and certainly a whole lot more serenity, which is a good thing for me and something i wish to foster.
coming back to the topic at hand, i know that i sometimes carry more weight in group conscience than some of my peers, or at least i used to. in my current home group, there are enough of us with time, that the pedestal effect, is not a thang and we arrive at a true group conscience, rather than one based on my will and desires. as much as i love to think i have all the answers, what i know today, is that i do not know a whole lot. seeking the answers by allowing myself to listen to the opinions of others, is the path to knowledge and perhaps a bit of wisdom. so it is time to post this and move along u=into my work day. i am grateful that, just for today, i am employed and perhaps w=ill get the answer i desire when i meet with my boss, in an hour. it is, as it is, and i will land on my feet, no matter what.

∞ DT ∞