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BOOM, there is is, for all see and for me to feel. i know that many of my peers believe a whole lot of different things about character defects and i am often in the minority when i share my opinions, on what i think they are, BUT, it who i am and i am not going to be starting down a different path any time soon. what i see them as, is character traits i share with the rest of humanity, that addiction has warped out of shape. their remove, if and when it happens, is not an event, and they are not transformed into “character assets” much to the chagrin of some of my peers. ironically, the more i embrace them and see them for what they are, the easier it is for me to surrender them into the care of the POWER that fuels my recovery.
it is true, i am on STEP SIX and perhaps if i get a chance to speak with my sponse on Wednesday, i will move into the step and get the work done. part of what i am gong to do today, is to let go of work, and read what the books say about this step, in preparation for what may come.
my what a difference an hour or so makes. i have an idea for the “hacky” solution i presented at work, it came to me about ½way through my workout this morning and i have decided that while i wait for my laundry to complete, i will watch football and see if i have the solution i think i do. i have a big hill to climb at work and this week, is my bonus week to get the “rust” off my skills. the clock cannot start ticking until i have my meeting with HR and right now there are exactly two days in my work week. instead of ignoring what is going on, it is time for me to take responsibility and do the next thing right! right now that is to make myself the best employee as possible and balance my family life, which i am also sucking at right now, my recovery life, which could also use a bit more attention and my taking care of myself life, which happens to be at the top of this list these days. with that in mind, it is time to fire up my work laptop and see what i can see, just for today.

∞ DT ∞