Blog entry for:

in the relationships that make up my life, certainly is a topic worth exploring. my **house,** certainly depends on how well i maintain and foster relationships with those who i have the DESIRE to be a part of my life. for the most part, those whom i find odious and **difficult** to be around, **get** how i feel and keep a courteous distance. there are those, however, who seem to think that their sh*t does not stink and seem totally obtuse to the fact that i do not want to be anywhere close to them. in fact, they are so seemingly self-absorbed that their phone and playing around on it, is social interaction. as sad and pathetic as all of this may be, it is incumbent upon me, to keep that relationship ↳ courteous distance, intact. it is really a struggle when i cringe at their touch and find fault with every single syllable that drops out of their mouth and yet, i KNOW for my sanity's sake, i have to learn to respect them for what they are not ↳ a person i respect.
even though, up to this point, it may seem that this blog is all about hating on of my more insecure and obtuse peers, what it really is all about is me and how i handle the “difficult” relationships in my life. the fact is, when it comes down to relationships with whom i like and respect, there are no issues, i accept them for who they are, not despite their faults and flaws. i work on finding common ground, quite easily consider their point of views and work to make myself more forgiving and tolerant. when it come to the others, those in my life that i do not respect and/or like, the real work for this addict begins. where i desire chaos enough to chase them away, i seek order and direction on how to keep them at arm's length and allow them the space to find what they need to grow. i grow by allowing myself to look past their flaws and faults as i do with those i do not find odious and over time i reach an accommodation between my emotional reaction and my spiritual response. all of that works great, until once again i find myself in a social situation in close contact and my emotions take over once again.
i often wonder if i would have to admit i was wrong if i just came right out and said leave me the f*ck alone and hated on them to their face. it might actually solve the issue i have of maintaining distance, because i would flat out have told them how i feel. it would certainly redefine my relationship with them and make me feel a whole lot better, as i would have my animosity out in the open. is wounding the pride and ego of another, worth the spiritual cost to myself? there would be a prize and certainly a price to be paid. the question is am i willing to pay that price, even though i might get the result is think i strongly desire? i think that is certainly enough to chew on as i enter the real world on this final summery day. i will not be able to “think” my way out of this dilemma, but if i allow some sense to creep in, i can certainly “feel” my way to the solution.

∞ DT ∞