Blog entry for:

from having to take a look at myself.
and am i glad to shift that focus, at least i have been in my recent past. but before i start getting into how and why i need to put my house in order, i must apologize for missing the past two days. i went to convention and actually did not fire my notebook computer up once, even though i carried it with me! so what i see that as an indication of, is that i am getting better and finally coming to the point where i can separate my social life, from my professional life.
but anyhow, the reading starts off about focusing on others so i do not have to look at myself. and recently i have been not only focused but actually obsessed with what others have been doing to me, in front of me, behind my back and whatever i can imagine. and trust me when i say i can imagine quite a little chamber of horrors when i try to. so what do i do? well, last night instead of catching-up on the work i have committed to have done, i did another section in my fourth step, and finally faced the fear that has prevented me from moving through this step and wrote out the section on fear. and no i do not believe that i will expound on that little ditty this morning in this forum, after all we all need to have some things to pull out of the hat when a awe and thunder is needed. they were very interesting and i am now a bit more willing to continue with the task at hand -- namely finish this part of my cyclical house cleaning. i am now ready to shift my focus back to where it belongs -- me and let you all run amok without my controlling and heavy hand and voice. i am, after all a self-centered. selfish person, and today is a good day to pay attention to my internal needs, instead of deflecting and distracting myself with what i think about you. so, off to the showers and into another day at the races!

∞ DT ∞