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do i really expect and accept failure as a way of life? i know that there was a time when never considered anything i did as a failure. i could rationalize, justify and spin the outcome of any venture to match some sort of measure of success and i did, loudly and to anyone who happened to be in earshot. then i came to recovery and all of a sudden i realized that people did not want to hear me crowing about how i defeated the odds and succeeded, over and over and over and over again, so i shut-up and though that i was living in a humble manner. so in those days when i came across this reading in the course of my annual journey up the path of life without using, i thought a had come across a glaring contradiction in the program and promptly dismissed thisd reading and went on with my life.
it was several hundred days before i finally asked another member with more time about the apparent contradiction in this reading and how he resolved the spiritual principle of humility with the sharing about his successes. well at least he did not laugh out loud when i asked my question and our discussion led into what humility really means in the context of the fellowship that gave us these wonderful new lives.
i was not wrong in my conclusion that bragging was not part of humility, but i had stumbled over the fact that i could take pride in my accomplishments and still be humble. what was important was how i shared about those successes and learning how to frame them in an ‘attitude of gratitude.’ he took the time to explain that humility was not about diminishing our accomplishments but rather humility was learning our true place in the world, acknowledging our failures as well as our successes. our strengths as well as our weaknesses and realizing that although i may be better at a certain skill than someone else, that does make me a better a person. self-acceptance and humility is really a topic for another day, but i am grateful that at this particular moment in my life i had the chance to think about my successes since the way change is popping-up all over i need to remember that what may look like a failure (leaving my job) may actually lead to a success way beyond my wildest dreams. i do have a skill set, some education and a bit of native intelligence and drive, so it is up to me to take this opportunity to try something different and see what happens -- after all GOD did not bring this far to drop me now! so off to the races and let me see how i can succeed today!

∞ DT ∞