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how to live is certainly NOT one of the requests i make willingly, even after a few days clean. when i got here, i thought i knew how to live and the suggestion that IF i wanted long-term recovery, i would have to change the manner in which i was living, fell upon deaf ears. even these days, i think i can run my life better than any suggestions i may get from the POWER that fuels my recovery, through the deeds and words of my peers and trusted associates. so i plot and plod my way through my life, wondering what i am missing. when i trip back to STEP THREE, i “get it.”
today, is not one of those days. as i may be way off my routine, i am not bothered by having to go with the flow. sure there are bunches of unresolved “issues” filling my conscious life. i am waiting for news on my job opportunity, i have to return the “hell” of my current job, i am tired of this whole sham election angst by the BIGGEST LOSER, i am weary of living in plague times, i am doing my late season fade in Fantasy Football and i wonder whether, or not my parents will be getting any better. all of that aside, i can be okay when i stop dwelling on what is not or yet to be revealed. today, i am going to continue with my little vanity project, even if i am not selected for a new job. i am going to watch some football, even if the home team sucks. i am going to head up the hill to check in on my parents. just for right now i can finish my laundry and be okay with whaat maay come, even if it is a suggestion or three about how to live.

∞ DT ∞