Blog entry for:

for whatever comes to me, was an excellent habit for me to form and adhere to on a daily basis. it may not make me whole or sane, but it certainly starts my day off in a direction that leads to less angst, second-guessing and self-deprecation. on the second day of a break from work, i am a bit less concerned about my prospects and more determined than ever to make myself a team member and not a piece of road-kill. i did not get to see my sponse yesterday and maybe tomorrow will be the day, as i am willing to travel down south to spend some time with him. i am also staring to get the feeling that maybe, it is time for me to start sampling the sponsor waters again, as i feel us drifting apart, bit by bit. i have to arrive at place but the notion has come up more than once.
be that as it may, today, as i sat and “listened,” what i felt was determination and fortitude. it is fairly obvious why that came up, given what is going on in my work life these days. it also applies to what i am feeling about some of my family members. they have chosen their paths and no matter how hard i “pray” for them, they are who they are and will continue to live the lives they feel they have to. when i have the determination to let go of my expectations for them and my judgements of them, when they fail to meet those expectations. tough nut for me to crack, but one i “need” to, if i want to be a bit calmer, more balanced and less insane.
okay before i drop this into the dreaded bit bucket because i am obsessing about Fantasy Football and not paying attention to what i am doing, i do need to wrap this up and get some miles under my belt. i need to do some work on my skills today, as well as let myself have some time off for doing very little. finding that balance is tough going, playing back into what could make me all angsty and what i can do to improve my prospects. more than likely going to be a little bit of both as the day progresses, watching football and skill building, at the same time. it is a good day to be clean and it is a good day to follow what i feel rather than do what i think i “ought to.” BTW a period outside of the trailing quote looks weird to me, regardless of the latest style changes and i will be adhering to the “old school” style-book, just for today.

∞ DT ∞