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forgiveness, foregoing resentments. is totally spot on after the week i had. my hoodie was returned and i know that the person who took it, also wore it and had no intention of ever returning it, until they got busted. my initial emotional reaction and what i said was not only truthful and spot on, i know that even though they chose to say they were ignoring my comments, so they would not take it “personally,” i am quite sure they took them very personally as they cut to the core, a talent i used to be world famous for and one that does not seem to have gotten any less sharp, even though it is rarely used these days. as the week progressed, i moved into a state of being willing to forgive. and although i have the desire to make them pay, i know that i need not give them any more of my personal power. in fact, i have them blocked on FaceBook, and ironically they were whining about their stuff going missing. karma, baby, karma! 😈
i have had a full day, today, as i worked out, shoveled snow, went to my home group, deserved to get a middle finger salute when i nearly hit a car coming down an alley, because i did not look before turning out and now this little exercise in letting go. what i got from the source material today, was that i could continue to give up all my personal power to those i CHOOSE to resent, or i could forgive them and win that battle. i also have been praying that the object of my ire, find a path to integrity and honesty and stop playing the victim. i am not sure what they feel, nor do i care, as in this moment, i know i have found the center of my serenity and it has nothing to do with any slime ball. i CHOOSE to let go, and even though the claw marks are deep and my finger nails may still be embedded in that little bit of drama.
reclaiming my personal power is a theme i often return to and one that can be mistaken for self-will. i own that i am powerless over so much shit, that counting all the instances of it, would take far more time than i am willing to invest, and more importantly what would i gain, living in that negative space? when i take back the little bit of power that i do possess, i get more than just the opportunity to do more with my life, i get the opportunity to morph into the sort of person who does not have to work to let go of the shit that comes my way and forgives without a serious conscious effort. and just for today, that is my goal, be forgiving, let go and walk a path towards greater freedom.

∞ DT ∞