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to each moment of my life is certainly a goal worthy of achieving. getting there, however, feels as if it is something i have the desire to avoid. lately, there are certainly minutes of my life, i would prefer to skip over and never have to deal with again, even though i know that those minutes have given me something that i “needed” even if i did not want that “gift” at all. today, on day four of my sprint to “nerd harder” i have altered my original plan and pushed that responsibility to the top of my stack. the gift that keeps on giving is me learning how to do my job, without my job looking over my shoulder. it will be a late morning in the cigar shop, pounding out the lessons and becoming confident in at least one of the languages i use at work.
this week has been tough on me, emotionally and certainly spiritually. i want to escape to somewhere else and be relieved of all my responsibilities. i know that all i would be really doing is trading one set for another and the consequences of that transaction would not be to my liking. i do have the means to “get away from it all” for forty-five minutes or so, and those means are more than acceptable to me: put in my airpods and get my miles in. as the steps go by and the music plays i get lost in the quite in my head and push myself to my physical limits, at least some of the time. other times i just drift along, in a sea of unrelated but relevant thoughts dealing with the state of my life. either way, i get release from being in the moment and as an added bonus i take of my responsibility to my physical self.
i have reached that spot in my day, where the well of ideas on this topic has run dry. i am grateful that i have a life today, and although i am loathe to say so, the responsibilities that life brings to my daily living. i GOT to be a part of my family yesterday. i GET to take care of myself today. i am okay with having to climb a hill to keep my job and i accept that i have a plan to finally get out from under the crushing debt that my little trip through getting something that sounded “too good to be true,” brought down upon my head and shoulders. my life amy be far from stress-free and idyllic, but it is a life worth living, responsibilities and all, just for today.

∞ DT ∞