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and escape to some far-off island where i am not supposed to do anything!
and the responsibility that is driving me to distraction today, is how i can clean-up a great big little mess i created last night by saying something i thought was clever and actually ended-up hurting the woman with whom i am building a life together. so even though i apologized and am giving her some space there still seems to be more that i need to do. so here i sit, wondering what i need to do, and when i do not know what to do, i do nothing. perhaps in this case that is exactly what i need to do. what i am tempted to do is go shopping and get her something nice, how a material item will make her feel better is unknown to me, but it would make me feel better. it would make me feel like i am doing something useful and possibly taking the responsible action i need to take.
or i could take my dog and run away for a couple of days, not to some deserted tropical island, but away and give her some time alone to figure out what she needs. alas, that too seems to be an action whose only result would be to make me feel better.
so what will i do today? work a bit, go out and smoke a cigar, watch some football, go to a meeting and just be patient to see what will happen. i think right now, not forcing the issue by some crazy and insane action on my part is probably the best direction to go.
and of course what i hear in my head is that old platitude it is what it is and that is all that it is.
YUCK but i have to live with it today!

∞ DT ∞