Blog entry for:

when i started this journey,i had absolutely no belief in GOD, or a HIGHER POWER. i was incapable of looking for and accepting the evidence that there was anything more than what my senses told me there was. as i progressed i CAME TO BELIEVE that there was something more as i grew spiritually. i opened myself up to the concept that SOMETHING had and is providing me with the loving care. the principle of FAITH grew and became an integral part of my life.
looking back over the course of my active addiction, i can today find all sorts of evidence that SOMETHING preserved me and allowed me the choice to RECOVER from the ravages of my disease. i did not die despite the manner i choose to use. i did not die or get injured despite the risks i took in the process of getting what i need. i did not end up living in a dumpster or on the streets, but i know now that was becuase i was being taken care of, despite my denial of a divine power.
today, there are times i still have my doubts, but these are quickly displaced by the warm feeling that, for me, GOD is looking out for my interests, whether i ask GOD to do so or not. i have grown the FAITH that i needed to not only accept the concept of GOD but also to turn my will and my life over to that power on a daily basis. my RECOVERY is a gift and i can choose to accept where that gift came from and do my best to take care of it. i also realize that even if i do not nurture this gift, it will not be removed by the GOD of my understanding. the only thing standing between me and my recovery is my self-will and denial.
JUST FOR TODAY i can accept the gift of GOD's love and care for me, and nurture this gift with a growing sense of FAITH and ACCEPTANCE.
-- DT --