Blog entry for:

the denial, of what i did, who i was and what i have become, is certainly part of the process today. yesterday, i caught a glimpse of my true value. i talked a peer off the ledge, i mulled over and accepted a job offer that was quite generous, i spoke with a sponsee and i actually introduced myself to someone i have been spending a whole lot of time with at the cigar store. in the process of doing all of that, i learned some disturbing news and certainly have a “burning desire” to call someone out over the fraud they are perpetrating. where i ended-up last night as i tossed and turned, writing my next code test in my head, over and over and over again, even though i do not have the NEED to even continue down that hiring process, i can see my tendency to look for something “better” has kicked into high gear. currently i have three coding exercises in progress. the one i have had the longest, i have left in the bit bucket, but the other two are ones i will complete, as the opportunities those are a prerequisite for, are more exciting than the job i have in hand, as it were. never enough 🤣 !
as i prepare to step out for what may be my last “outdoor” workout for a few days, i have the desire to leave my phone at home. having not heard a peep from my Mom after her procedure yesterday, i have decided that maybe i do need to carry it after all. i am the emergency contact, so i am pretty sure if something was wrong, the hospital would be calling me. nevertheless, i will need to “have my ears on” as i trek through the neighborhood this morning. oh yeah, before i forget:

Jerrianne,
Congrats on Nineteen (19) years clean.

so it is off into this early Friday morning with a pile of projects to get off my desk and out of my head, as i enjoy my final days, “at leisure.” oh yeah, just to fix what might be a misunderstanding, i know who i am today and i know that the knowledge that was imparted to me, yesterday is mine to drop into the bit bucket. i also know that IF i choose to, i could become the sort of person who uses what i know against any who i perceive deserves to be brought down a notch or three. there is no denying that i can still be someone who i really do not like and i choose to walk a different path, just for today.

∞ DT ∞