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my creativity and the POWER that fuels my recovery was not an easy topic to mull over as i sat quietly this morning. try as i might, i could not connect those two seemingly disparate concepts. what i missed this morning was the part about living fully is the creative expression of the respect i have for the POWER that fuels my recovery. it was not connecting be creativity to, but rather, seeing the connection to my creativity as well as my connection to that POWER. a few hours, some exercise, a group conscience and an afternoon that did not unfold as quickly as i expected, allowed me the opportunity to revisit the source material and open my eyes to what it was saying. specifically, living my life in the creative freedom i have found is the result of a relationship with living a program of active recovery as well as allowing myself the freedom to fins a HIGHER POWER that works for me, today and every day.
as i get more comfortable developing code in a cadence that my employer expects, i see my mind opening up to being far more creative than i have ever been. as i move on to a new source for my daily musings i find myself seeing my life in a new light and certainly beginning to get a grasp of who i am, after nearly sixty-six trips around the sun. the upset of exploding then lie that i protected myself from for all those decade has certainly left a whole in my life, when it comes to knowing who i am and where i might go. revealing the damage i inflicted on myself hiding from an event when i was five years old, filled me with anger and remorse. these days i often wonder where i might be, if only…
i could dwell in that house of pain forever, instead, i choose to move into my day and get the remainder of my steps before i sit down and do my taxes. my taxes are no longer a exercise in creative writing, but i will see what happens when i approach the bottom line. i have taken a minute to create a space to care for someone else and their needs next week. today, at least the rest of this afternoon, is all about my needs and for that i am grateful. the POWER that fuels my recovery has provided me the resources and the desire to take care of myself and be okay with what i can get done in this single rotation of the planet i happen to live on.

∞ DT ∞