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the Twelve Steps are the key.
yes, one after another the bon mots, keep rolling. oh well, as i am running late, i will work with what i have.
it would appear that the reading suggests that somehow the steps, provides clarity into the process of living. while i do not disagree with that assertion, i find it more than a bit trite. life is complicated, at least it is for me, and in active addiction it seemed so much less so. after all, everything back then, was related to using, i worked so i had the resources to get high. i had friends and acquaintances, on who i could rely, that would assist me in getting high. and when all else failed, Plan B, kicked in and did what i needed to do, to get high. the rest of life, marched past me and as long as i was high, i never regretted that inevitable isolation from the living.
then i got clean and all of a sudden, stuff began to appear frightening and complicated to me. i had years of financial neglect to clean up. my life was practically devoid of anyone who cared for me, and all of a sudden i wanted a social life that was more than just using sex and drugs and rock and roll, to get away from it all. all of a sudden i needed a framework on which to build my life, a scaffolding to support the grand edifice i imagined i was going to build. pop psychology and new agey belief systems, seemed to be the answer, but once i saw them for what they were, at least for me, i needed something concrete, with repeatable results, to base my journey upon. had i been St Thomas, i would have of, course, felt the wounds of Jesus, as i have been shown time and again, that my eyes deceive me, because of what i think i know. what i discovered, was here in the rooms, there were people, just like me, who had walked away from the life, and had come to a place where they no longer regretted that decision. skeptical as i was, i gave it 18 months to proves it self and guess what i am still here today, long after those 18 months.
anyhow, when all is said and done, the steps are the key to my way of living today and responsibility is part of that way of life. speaking of which, it is time to head on over to work, after all it is a great day to be clean.

∞ DT ∞