Blog entry for:

both the yin and the yang of who i am. i can state flat-out that this part of the **process** of recovery is still a major and ongoing part of my journey. it would be wonderful to say i am what i am, here i am, take me as i am, and be perfectly okay with that. i have yet to arrive there and perhaps i never will, that just may be beyond my reach. this morning, however i am taken back to what i see in the rooms and the attempts many of my peers make to “look” like recovery superheroes and see my own behaviors in that respect as well. there are however, many of my peers whom i try to emulate:

Jerrianne K,
SIXTEEN (16) years clean!
Thank you for showing me, what it means to be humble.

back to the topic at hand, self-acceptance. i can roll through the litany of reasons of why i want to look better that i am, and i have done that in the past. what it really comes down to is my FEAR of being locked to the curb, if i revealed who i was to every one in my life. that FEAR overrides everything i am at time and takes me down rabbit holes into the pits of despair. today, i will not allow that FEAR to control my life as i step out into the real world and do my best not to fall victim to the stories that feed that FEAR.

∞ DT ∞