Some memes

i am not always right, is not as hard as it seems these days. in fact, i can accept that as fact, without having to be pounded into the dust in humiliation by the scorn of those with whom i share my recovery. it also means that when i am wrong, i do not leave scorched earth behind as some sort of petulant gesture of my displeasure at being shown to be wrong. that is not to say i have always been as forgiving and accepting of being wrong and having how wrong i was pointed out to me, no this is a symptom of my growth. in that process i have learned that building a consensus through a group conscience process always brings the best results, even when i do not agree with the final decision. this could all lead down the rabbit hole of what happened a year ago, BUT to what purpose. that is water over the dam and not a house of pain i need to dwell in. there is little satisfaction in being correct in the long run, as the resources, goodwill and possibilities were wasted. today, i choose to look at the here and now and leave this brief dive into darkness behind.
looking at my life today, i see that taking direction is still not something i am adept at doing. i still chafe under the yoke of “you are not the boss of me,” or “WTF are you talking about, you do not know me.” being clean for a minute, certainly gives me a wealth of experience, in living a life in recovery as well as serving my fellowship. that experience has given me the opportunity to form some very strong opinions and if one took notice, one would find that in my recovery i am staunchly “conservative.” i still get a thrill watching my more “liberal” peers squirm when i share about how the steps and the spiritual principles are all that i need to grow into a better person and that changing the readings and prayers to be more “inclusive” is actually disrespectful to those who were before me and decided through their group conscience to put down in writing what they did. that does not mean i am opposed to making the changes some of my peers take upon themselves to insert. i support those changes but only through the process of the world fellowship group conscience process. the notion that somehow it is language that is preventing other addicts form getting clean, is a smoke screen to cover the fact that they really do not want to get clean. from my experience i used every trick in the book, including the language in the readings to disqualify myself, right from the beginning, and yet here i am many days later, still clean and living a program of recovery.
all that being said, i am certain that this morning, as i cruise into my day, i will be okay owning the fact that yes, even i can be wrong, occasionally. 😎 🤣 it is a good day to take care of what i need to take care of and dwell in a house where i can forgive myself for making a mistake or three and allow my assets to show, just for today.

∞ DT ∞