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and sponsorship is an ideal i strive to live up to, every single time i interact with one of the men who call me their sponsor. i do need to clear something up here, i do not sponsor women. at all, no matter what their sexual orientation happens to be. it is not about sexual tension or power, art least not for me. it is because i do not “get” women on a level necessary to help guide them through their recovery. loving someone without conditions means learning to say that i do not have what i need to give them and they would be better served seeking out someone who does have “it.” i can also say with no reservations that i have had more than one sponsee that i did not “like” probably because they remind me of me, but i still loved them without conditions. most of those guys moved on, as they were looking for something that i was not giving them, and for me, getting fired by someone i sponsor, no longer stings the way it used to, i have reached a point in my recovery where i see if they want to move, then moving on, is no reflection on me.
when it comes to the men i sponsor these days, and it is quite a few of them, i give them the time and energy they request and subtle hints that perhaps they could be doing just a bit more to foster their own recovery. i do not hand out unsolicited advice and when they call, i allow them the freedom to decide what they are going to say, rather than dominating the conversation with my so-called “wisdom.” more importantly i love each and every one of them for who they are and do not look to who they are not as a sign that i need to be doing m,ore. my thoughts on that matter is that each and every one of them is a grown ass man and when they decide they are fed-up with being who they are not, they will come and ask for my help to be who they are.
anyhow, it is time to walk the dawg and get ready to move my office to a smoke-filled room. my sponsor, is the best sponsor in the world for me, just for today. when i stop getting what i need for him, i will have a conversation with him and perhaps move on. i certainly hope the men who call me their sponsor, feel the same way, and if they do not, then maybe, just maybe, i need to let them know that they can do so, without any fear of reprisal from me. that is certainly the way. 😄

∞ DT ∞