Blog entry for:

wondrous, and sometimes overwhelming are usually not what i come up with when i am describing my feelings of gratitude. i know that i am grateful and i also know that what i am most grateful for is the opportunity to choose to live another day clean, with all its attendant consequences. for me, that means living a life that is above reproach, anchored in the spiritual principles that are part and parcel of my program of recovery. i do that far from perfectly, and here i could add a huge BUT. one of the gifts i have and for which i am especially grateful for, is the TENTH STEP, as it provides me the opportunity at the end of my day, to judge how well i did in living an active program or recovery, what i can repeat tomorrow and what i need to learn how to avoid all together.
peeking back at what i wrote a year ago, i am amazed that what i was so hot about, barely registered a huge “HUH,” from me today, as it took a very long minute to figure out what was going on. what i thought was true about my peer a year ago has been verified in the recent past as they almost died by not paying attention to what is going on in and around themselves. i often wonder if i was in the same state when i was using => knowing everything and not have a clue about anything that was important, especially when it came to my health and well-being. gratefully, i am no longer living in that particular house of denial, remorse and shame. i no longer have to plan out my day based on what i had in my stash and how i was going to fill my need to get high, which i guess, is something else i am grateful each and every day i stay clean.
looking at the here and now, i am certainly at a loss to dig up anything else on this topic. i have work to do, errands to run, a fine hand-rolled cigar to enjoy as i pound out the hits. more than all of that, i also need to be awake for the scammer that has entered my life, pretending to be from the US government. i sort of doubt that i will get a call from the bank in Mexico that i sent money to, nor will i ever hear from my so-called ally. things will remain as they have always been and res assured, i will not get scammed again, after all the voice on the phone sounded a lot like the person who drove the first scam. time to pack it up and return to the task at hand.

∞ DT ∞