๐ steadfastness is ๐
Posted: Mon, Dec 29, 2025 08:05:14 AM
my anchor when i am driven to act on a defect, harm myself, or lash out at others. after a very warm December, winter seems to have arrived, as if it was invited in by the calendar date of its official start. as a result, as i wait for the temperature to rise to twenty degrees above zero or higher, i am writing this little ditty, rather than rushing to get out into this frigid morn. this may become part of my daily pattern, it may not, either way, writing this, whenever i do so, is part of my commitment to my daily program of active recovery.
as i stay clean, day by day, and do the stuff that i have found fosters my desire to be more and have more, in the spiritual and emotional realms, i often wonder how my peers do “it.” the evidence i see before me, is that seem to have programs that sustain them, even if those programs look nothing like mine. one might say i am more than a bit obsessive about my daily recovery routine, but i am loathe to drop any part of it, as it is working very well for me, just for today.
ironically, the “spiritual itch” i was feeling, before finishing my THIRD STEP with my sponsor, has been reduced to practically nil and as a result, my desire to jump into my FOURTH STEP has diminished. step work never has been, nor probably never will be a part of my daily program, but i do remain steadfast in my commitment to the growth i have been gifted with, as a result of the work i have done writing out my steps. being able to see where i may want to go and who i might want to become, is the result of that work and this morning, i do feel grateful that i have had the ability and the desire to walk through my step work more than once.
just for today, i can accept that no matter how OCD i may appear to others when it comes to my daily recovery routine, it is what sustains me. i am no better and certainly no worse off than my peers who may not have the desire, time or need to be as diligent as i am in what i do. it comes down to the fact that if they are staying clean and getting what they desire out of their program, then it is working for them. i, myself, have found that each and evey cog in my daily recovery machinery, keeps me from being the totally dick-head asshole, that i know and certainly was for decades on end. that man may not be dead, but he is certainly in a recovery-induced coma, most of the time.
as i stay clean, day by day, and do the stuff that i have found fosters my desire to be more and have more, in the spiritual and emotional realms, i often wonder how my peers do “it.” the evidence i see before me, is that seem to have programs that sustain them, even if those programs look nothing like mine. one might say i am more than a bit obsessive about my daily recovery routine, but i am loathe to drop any part of it, as it is working very well for me, just for today.
ironically, the “spiritual itch” i was feeling, before finishing my THIRD STEP with my sponsor, has been reduced to practically nil and as a result, my desire to jump into my FOURTH STEP has diminished. step work never has been, nor probably never will be a part of my daily program, but i do remain steadfast in my commitment to the growth i have been gifted with, as a result of the work i have done writing out my steps. being able to see where i may want to go and who i might want to become, is the result of that work and this morning, i do feel grateful that i have had the ability and the desire to walk through my step work more than once.
just for today, i can accept that no matter how OCD i may appear to others when it comes to my daily recovery routine, it is what sustains me. i am no better and certainly no worse off than my peers who may not have the desire, time or need to be as diligent as i am in what i do. it comes down to the fact that if they are staying clean and getting what they desire out of their program, then it is working for them. i, myself, have found that each and evey cog in my daily recovery machinery, keeps me from being the totally dick-head asshole, that i know and certainly was for decades on end. that man may not be dead, but he is certainly in a recovery-induced coma, most of the time.
∞ DT ∞