Some memes

discover who i am and what i care about can lead me on unexpected journeys, as i become my authentic self and present that person the world around me. i have had this freedom for a very long time, but it is only in the past five years or so, have i sought to actually exercise it. i still believed the lie i told myself decades ago. a lie that colored how i saw myself and what i believed i could show to those around me. for the years preceding my desire to get out from under that burden, being authentic meant only showing so much and that was curated for the audience at hand. learning to live as me, is quite a learning curve in my seventh decade of walking the planet.
today, as i slowly make my way through what i want to accomplish before going to work, i have a sense of self that is developing into quite a spectacle, at least in my opinion. the irony is, back when i was hiding under my lie, i wanted to be the center of attention but did not want anyone to notice me. today, i have grown into a place where i want neither the spotlight, although it feels good to get it every now and again, nor to hide who i am out of shame or fear of rejection. i can walk in the confidence of what others see, is just who i am and whether or not the can accept that person, is not my stuff nor any of my business.
i have to admit, y0that last bit is quite a new manner in which to thin, as i used to put great stock in what i thought others thought of me. my life revolved around that notion, hence the careful crafting of what i showed. i am finding it much easier to live in a world where what others think of me takes far less bandwidth and priority, in my daily affairs. it is true, i want be be well thought of, but in this case, may actions, when they are true to my authentic self speak far louder that the illusions and slight of hands i used to attempt to pull off. it is a good day to walk through the world as my true and authentic self.

∞ DT ∞