Some memes

often tell newcomers that they will love them until they learn to love themselves. what we as a whole are doing is loving one another back to life. i can certainly say that the first time i heard that someone would love me until i could love myself, i thought these folks must be crazy, as i was more than certain i already loved myself. besides all that talk of love and being loved was for soft an weak people and i did not see myself as either soft or weak. i lived i a world of false bravado and lessons form my youth that needed to be unlearned, but that unlearning process is still unfolding.
as i stayed clean, became willing to live a life by spiritual principles and actively participate in my own recovery, i saw how false the notion of loving myself really was. the reality was that i did not love the person i had become, i did not respect him and i felt he was not worth anything close to the effort it might have took to change him into something more. in that instant, i was suddenly grateful for the love i received from my peers. they gave me the willingness to continue my journey and be okay with who i was at that moment and have FAITH that was not my destiny, IF i continues my recovery journey.
today, i can say i am more at ease with who i am, even though i am brutal on myself. this round of steps is showing me the way to treat myself with the respect, kindness and courtesy i reserve for total strangers. one thing i am learning from my hobby/job is how to be social, and if i can apply the principles i practice at the store with my customers, to myself, i may actually be well on my way to my next phase of spiritual growth. i am grateful that now i can be one of those who has love to give to my peers, until they can learn to love themselves.

∞ DT ∞