Blog entry for:

i knew this to be true even while i was using, in fact it was the use of mind altering, emotion numbing substances that allowed me the freedom to live in that moment, at least for a moment, then of course the whole obsession about how to maintain that bliss for longer than twenty minutes or so kicks in and the moment was gone.
recovery on the other hand gives me a tool or two to deal with the messes everyday life happens to present on a daily basis. worrying about what mess may or may not be coming around the next tick of the clock, i have found is very counterproductive. that does not mean i have to give up my dreams, plans and goals, it just means that i do the footwork and do my best to let go of the outcomes.
recovery has also given me a manner of dealing with who i have been and the things i did to myself, society and those with whom i shared my life over the course of my active addiction. today i no longer have to dwell in the land of remorse for my activities in the past, i can see them for what they are, THE PAST, make amends for the damage i caused and move on into the next moment. life is too precious today to waste my time whining and crying about my past life.
so the reading is an excellent reminder of one of the many gifts that recovery has given to me, the ability to live in this moment, take care of what i need to take care of right now and move forward.
today, i can enjoy my recovery, this very minute.

∞ DT ∞