Blog entry for:

my problems become magnified unreasonably.
so it is one of those mornings where everything was terrible, and i was ready to lash out at the very first thing that crossed my path and really let them have it. it is a good thing, that living in the here and now, i have tools at my disposal that allow me to restart my day and move into a different spot. no i did not use to suppress those feelings i was having. i stopped, took a few quiet moments and allowed myself the luxury of letting go and giving over to a HIGHER POWER, that which felt beyond me this morning.
which brings me back to the reading. just because i got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, for whatever reason, means that i do not have to take my frustration out on the world around me. more than likely it is a feeling of stress about the event that i am part of planning. as that event draws near, the demands from the rest of the committee as well as my demands upon myself are becoming overwhelming. especially since we are so close to meeting pour contractual obligations, now i am worried about the weather. living in the here and now? not by a long shot, first off, i have no control over the weather today or in three weeks. secondly even if i did, that day is yet to come and by working myself into a frenzy about what may or may not be, consciously or unconsciously, will do me absolutely no good, in any respect. so the extra few minutes of quiet time took care of that little piece that was blocking me from a bit of serenity today.
what about the shoe? living in the past. i am still feeling more than one feeling about what a “bumper sticker” shared last night. with less than three years clean he stated out loud that “we, old-timers…”
it did get worse as the member continued spewing what he thought was the message. so why is it bothering me this morning? who knows, and truthfully who cares, i believe in more than slogans and memorized passages form literature and will continue to do my best to actually work the program in my daily life. my part? letting go of that past event. yes even though it irks me to do so, i NEED to let go and allow them to be who they are, minimize the damage they cause, by carrying a clear and concise message of recovery and move on.
i have more than enough to deal with this morning, time to shower, do a bit of house work, a bit of paid work and a bit of service work. most of all, time to do a bit of life work -- coming back to the here and now and seeing what i can get done. i have taken care of all the responsibilities i need to, at least up to this point, so the next right thing is to jump in the shower and scrape off yesterday. i may be a bit out of sorts, but it is still a great day to be clean.

∞ DT ∞