Blog entry for:

my worrying will mot change any of it. today, i can enjoy my recovery, this very minute.
so welcome to is sucks to be me part two. one client has a major disaster yesterday, that i will be working on getting fixed for the next few days, another job blew up overnight and i have to drive over and take care of that one by hand, and i have a deadline for a project completion on monday. by the way, did i mention that i also have a plan to spend time with my honey this afternoon, and i want to watch the broncos get totally humiliated tomorrow morning, while i run the end of the month jobs. so as i ponder this reading, on this early saturday morning, i am struck with how very appropriate it is for me right now. i cannot get any of that accomplished if i am projecting about what needs to be done, and looking at how much is on my plate, and stressing over going to bed last night instead of keeping things going forward. so now that i write about it, of course my heart is racing, my breathing is shallow, and i am on the defensive ready to bounce on that saber tooth tiger that work may feel like today.
so two count breath in -- two count breath out and stop!
ah a little better now. the kind of physical reaction i was and am having is the result of me not living in this very moment. i am all over the place, and it is quite the miracle i could let go last night and sleep at all. so where do i go from here? well first things first -- let myself be present with the task in front of me -- which happens to be writing this blog. it is such a good thing that there are readings like this in the literature of the fellowship that gave me this new life, because as a human being i forget that i am so powerless over what has happened and have very little control over what will happen, that a reminder is what i need, regardless of how my life is going. and no it really does not suck to be me today. after all, i am complaining about having something (too many things) to do. when there was a time in my life when only two people in the world had any faith in me, and those people were my parents. today i have plenty of work, the ability to fulfill it, as well as meet my commitments to myself and those i love, all i have to do is let go of the past and future and do the next right thing. so off to walk the dog, and be present in this moment of my life. i have written enough, turned a bit of stress into something that can be released, and now i want to see what i can do with the rest of my time today!

∞ DT ∞